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Random thoughts from a woman in love

Tag Archives: house rules

So – there I was, ready to go.  A mug of coffee in each hand, books tucked under my arm, shoes nowhere in site when my dog asked me, “Wanna race?”  I looked him up and down.  He wriggled his ears and grinned at me.  “I know I can beat you. Only,  it’s not fair of you to tell me to ‘wait’ at the top of the stairs.  You know I can’t resist the ‘wait’ command.  It’s so…hypnotizing.” he said.   I shrugged my shoulders.  “Okay.  I’ll be fair.  Ready…set…go!”

Off we ran with me in the lead as we exited the bedroom and turned left towards the stairs.  He was gaining on me as I reached the first step, but I knew how to slow him down:  I stopped mid-step.  He stopped.  He was confused. Were we or weren’t we going downstairs?  He turned back toward the bedroom thinking, “She must have forgotten something…again.  Her age is definitely showing.”  I hopped on down the stairs.  I heard his feet slide on the hardwood floor as he realized he’d been duped and turned on his heel.

He barked and raced down the stairs after me, gaining ground quickly.  With just 5 steps to go, he was at my side.  He body-checked me into the banister, and leaped past me for the win.  He skidded at the base of the stairs and slammed into the front door, but he didn’t care.  He had won!  Victory was finally his!

Meanwhile, back on the stairs, I couldn’t regain my balance after that vicious body-check.  I raised my arms out to my sides to help, fully forgetting that I had several books under my arm and two mugs of lukewarm coffee in my hands.  The books bounced unceremoniously down the stairs as coffee painted a lovely abstract image on my cream-colored walls.  I dropped the coffee mugs in a desperate attempt to stave the fall, but my bare feet suddenly slipped out from beneath me. I fell butt-first on the 4th step, bounced without a bit of grace down the remaining steps, and landed on the oak floor with a loud bang.

And that, dear reader, is how I managed to herniate my L3, L4, L5 and S1 discs last week.  Do you know any good taxidermists? One that works with the canine species?

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