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Random thoughts from a woman in love

I am sitting with my dad in CVICU after his (thankfully successful) quadruple bypass. The curtain to his room is closed, and the sounds from outside his room float into his room, muffled by the curtain. It sounds like a symphony. Monotone, hushed voices from the room next door as a family receives bad news is mixed with laughter from the workstation as nurses banter back and forth; The movement of equipment and the chatter of nurses and patients down the hall are the bass line, tapping a slow beat. Lovely and so sad at the same time. Some patients, like my dad, will be going home; some will not. Their families sit with red, tearful eyes as they figure out how to say goodbye and worry over ‘final’ details. Some have never talked about death decisions and are at a loss as to what to do. As if not discussing death will prevent it’s arrival. *sigh* Denial is not a shield, it’s a ticking time bomb.

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